Have you ever known someone who was a decent human being as a co-worker, then became not-so-pleasant as a boss? Why does that happen? Was there an evil person lurking inside that became unleashed with a promotion? Does power corrupt even the nicest people? I don’t think so.
People don’t fundamentally change when they become bosses, though often their behavior does. Good people become bad bosses when they behave in ways they think a boss is supposed to behave.
Many of the beliefs people hold about what it means to be the “boss” are flawed, outdated and irrelevant in today’s complex organizations. The culture of management promotes unspoken rules that bosses are supposed to command and control the work and the people who do it. We are expected to know every detail and how each piece fits with management’s aggressive goals and strategic directions. We are accountable to meet performance standards to develop well-oiled organizational machines with little variability. We are supposed to be decisive and confident, never flinching when we have doubts. Never are we allowed to show our fears or vulnerability. When employees step out of line in questioning us, we are expected to show them who’s boss.
We fear that failing in any of these unwritten requirements will make us look weak to employees and ineffective to our bosses. Trying to meet them all may cause us to behave in ways that are not aligned with our personal preferences or values. We believe we must fill the role as it has been defined for us.
In my book, Management Culture: Innovative & Bold Strategies to Engage Employees, I question management culture–the rules, expectations and language that pressure good people to behave badly toward employees. I offer a new vision for healthy relationships between managers and employees, where both are encouraged to be fully human and fully engaged.
If you have any stories about good people you have known who became bad bosses, please post them (using alias names). If you are a supervisor or manager and know the cultural pressure I am talking about to be perfect, please share your perspective. Let’s start a conversation about how we can make sure good people become the excellent leaders they are meant to be!
Denise Moreland 
I worked in the public sector for a number of years in the same position. I had three managers in that time. The first one was a great boss. she had actually was familiar with the work.everything was smooth. The next was not familiar with it but was willing to learn from her employees.That worked out well. We got credit for our work and received her gratitude. The next was not familiar but ruled us with an iron fist and always took credit for the work we did. She received accolades from her boss and gave no credit to us. So I can relate to Denise Moreland’s book and find it quite helpful in the things that employees can do to help their situation.
I often see good people become bad bosses when they are insecure in their new position. Insecurity can come from lack of skills or lack of support in the new job. The more someone micro manages staff the more insecure they are about their own position. In order to thrive the basic need of safety needs to be met.
Mary,
I think you are right about the relationship between feeling insecure and wanting to control. It is difficult to be responsible for work not in your control. It takes a lot of trust that must be fostered and reinforced over time. The only way to do this is to co-own the work.
Denise