Have you ever found yourself in a competition with your boss that you never intended, but wound up losing? It starts so innocently with you trying to do a good job, which should make your boss look good, right? Then somewhere along the way, it starts to get weird. Instead of supporting you, your boss starts to nitpick everything you do, which is puzzling at first. Then, it dawns on you (or one of your colleagues points it out), you are looking smarter than your boss.

One of the unwritten rules of hierarchy is, “Don’t outshine the boss.” When you realize what has happened, the only appropriate response is to start stroking your boss’s ego and dialing back your own “shine.” You need to get small so the boss can be big. If you dare to remain in the competition, you will likely eventually be disciplined for insubordination.

This absurd dynamic stems from a cultural assumption that superiority correlates with authority. The higher your position, the smarter you must be, right? Not true. However, we are all expected to act as though it is. I call that the “Superiority Tango”–pretending the boss is always right even when s/he is not.

We need to change the rules of the hierarchy game to ensure that everyone can be big, engage and participate fully, without fear of outshining anyone, least of all the boss. Excellent leaders, like excellent coaches, encourage everyone to excel, even beyond their own shining achievements.

For radical ideas on how to create a work environment where everyone shines, see my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com and on Amazon.