Denise Moreland

Underneath all of today’s culture wars are three foundational assumptions that are under attack:

• Light skin is superior to dark skin
• Christianity is superior to other faiths
• Male is superior to female

We inherited a society with these assumptions built in. It is up to all of us to determine what to do about that.

Democracy has always threatened these and other superiority assumptions by declaring that all people are equal, regardless of human labels and power structures.

The battle for equality is not new. The actions, suffering and sacrifices of many over generations and millennia have created progress toward equality. Now, it is is our turn.

What seems different today, is that these assumptions are more visible to the privileged, core definitions are being challenged, and the backlash for even talking about them is more fierce, fueled by national leaders and lots of people with assault rifles. The stakes, it seems, for making progress, are higher than they have been for a few decades, at least for the formerly oblivious.

It is one thing  to learn about civil rights movements of the past, and congratulate ourselves for the great progress our heroes have made. It is quite another to see a Black man murdered under the knee of white police officer. The murder of George Floyd was stunning, forcing us to see what we have failed to hear about racial violence today. The stunning realizations are unrelenting.

It is one thing to read about incidents and patterns of racial injustice. It is another thing entirely to expose the historical truths, and demand accountability and restitution in a nation content with a whitewashed history.

It is one thing to celebrate the achievements of people of color who succeeded against all odds. It is quite another to declare that Black Lives Matter, because it requires us to face the truth that in our society, many of them really don’t.

It is one thing to learn about cultural diversity and inclusion at work, celebrating the differences that everyone brings. It is another to welcome poor immigrants to become part of the American story. 

It is one thing to learn about religions of the world.  It is another thing entirely to support  leaders who place their hands on the Qur’an to take their oaths of office.

It is one thing to argue that women are equal to men. It is quite another to stand with people who are non-binary, transgender, and who express their identities in ways that are not familiar. A nuanced and fluid understanding of gender threatens its very definition. 

Though race, religion and gender assumptions drive many social and institutional dynamics,  none of them are actually real. They are constructs invented by humans to keep powerful people in power. 

The people with the most power have a lot to lose if these assumptions are changed. They are working very hard to drive wedges between us to ensure the status remains quo, even if the cost is an end to democracy.

We are at a crossroads. The undercurrents of our history have become waves of hatred. The caged beast of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia and Christian colonialism has been released, free to roam through every institution and school board to ensure that the superiority assumptions we inherited endure, even if democracy is extinguished in the process.  

We must not be intimidated. We must do our part as individuals and collectively to ensure that the promise of democracy we inherited is not crushed by the superiority assumptions that also persist.

To understand how similar superiority/inferiority dynamics play out at work, check out my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com.

The last chapter of my book, Management Culture, is called, “Democracy at Work.” In it, I argue that we need to bring democratic principles to the workplace so people are free to pursue their own happiness, even at work.  

I have gotten more skeptical reactions to this than any other part of the book. It seems many people don’t believe we have a right to expect freedom, or happiness, at work. Instead, too often, we expect to be controlled, and even coerced, because this is so common we have come to accept it as normal.  It is NOT normal.

Some people dream of “being their own boss” but many lack the means or risk-tolerance to “strike out on their own.” Instead, most people live for the weekends and long for retirement, when they can truly be free from the grind, the pressure, the stress and perpetual frustration of work.

What if it were not so? What if we could all be free to be ourselves—fully ourselves—at work, even when we work for someone else? What if we were free to be creative, solve problems, improve processes, make decisions and explore ideas that would benefit our organizations? Would the workplace become utterly chaotic, as managers fear? No.

We need to expect more from our employers and our “bosses.” We need to offer and claim democratic values, beginning with freedom, at work. Organizations are healthier when people at all levels participate in the governance and leadership. 

Employees can begin down this path by claiming more freedom—sharing ideas, requesting specific assignments, volunteering to be on committees, arranging to have coffee with people in other areas to learn and grow. These actions help us claim ownership of our work and career. It starts to shift the culture toward mutual trust and shared ownership.

As managers and supervisors, we need to emphatically root out all forms of coercion and begin to let go of control. We need to put our focus on goals, strategies and principles that everyone can align to, instead of controlling every aspect of the work and dictating orders. We need to share ownership of decisions, recognizing that the people who report to us have much to contribute to the organization. They are smart, creative, knowledgable and dedicated. It is often our tendency to try to control everything that keeps us from even seeing the talents, skills and passion of the people around us. 

I spent too many years as a manager believing it was my job, not to just manage the work, but to own it. I thought I had to fix every problem, think through every challenge and make every decision, no matter how detailed. I was the thinker, I thought, and the people who reported to me were supposed to be the doers. 

This approach failed again and again because my thinking was limited and my knowledge was incomplete. By feeling overly responsible to control everything, I became a bottle-neck, stressed out about all the people who were dependent on me to tell them what to do next. 

Eventually, it occurred to me that I worked with people who were brilliant and more knowledgeable than me. I later learned that these smart people who reported to me were craving the opportunity to dig into problems, develop strategies and make decisions if only I would let go of control. Much to my dismay, I also learned that they often knew that my decisions would not work but remained silent. They did not think it was their place to question “the boss.”

Motivated by my new insights, I began assigning problems to be solved instead of (my) solutions to be implemented. By letting go of control, I created space for others do the work. 

Over time, trust between me and the people who reported to me increased. Also, trust among team members increased as we got the opportunity to see and appreciate each other’s strengths and preferences. My focus became more strategic and future-oriented. My job became less about managing people and more about creating frameworks, putting the pieces together into a coherent whole, aligned with our goals, vision and values.  

I still offered input, ideas and feedback on the details of work but no longer felt I owned it. The experts owned the work. Everyone became more engaged and invested, less stressed and frustrated. We all owned all the work—we just played different roles in getting it done. 

This is what I mean by freedom. Everyone participating, owning and pursuing happiness. It is the start of democratizing the workplace. 

Freedom is scalable. Creating more freedom at work strengthens individuals, teams, organizations and society. Freedom to pursue happiness in all realms of our lives strengthens democracy itself—something our country and world need more of right now. 

For more radical ideas on how to improve work culture and practices, see my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com. Enter promo code “Freedom” to receive a 50% discount on the soft cover or eBook. Both are also available on Amazon and through Barnes & Noble. 

I have slept better in the last several days than I have the last 6 years, except the few weeks between election day, 2020 and January 6th, 2021. 

Never in my lifetime would I have I believed that our country could spiral down the path of fascism and authoritarianism fueled by white supremacy and hatred toward marginalized people. Our biases in America, at least in my lifetime, have always been more subtle and hidden. As a Lesbian, I have experienced homophobia. As a woman, I have experienced sexism. As a white person, I have benefited from privilege that has mostly been invisible to me. The path away from our ism’s is to listen to each other’s stories from a place of empathy. By listening to each other, we have been able to connect, and make progress to correct injustices and dismantle racism, homophobia and xenophobia in our minds, institutions and systems of governance. That is the American path—to perfect our union toward the ideals our founders espoused.

As a career bureaucrat, I have worked proudly on behalf of “the people” to make government better. In all my years working in government, I have seen (and made) bad decisions based on flawed assumptions and incomplete information. I have seen (and created) inefficiencies based on following the “rule of law,” often driven by politics rather than good public policy goals. Never, have I witnessed a hint of corruption or intent to circumvent the laws no matter how distasteful or short-sighted they were. The people I work with are honorable and faithful to the systems we support as the implementation arm of the people’s government. I always believed that an inefficient, messy democracy was better than an efficient autocracy.

Never did I imagine that elected government officials would leverage the discontent and fears of ordinary citizens to attack our system of government. In other situations of crisis, it is our leaders who remind us—the people—that preserving the system is more important than any election, politician, or policy loss. We must, above all, support our system if we are to preserve it for future generations. Six years ago, it seemed the rules were changing as the leaders and officials were the ones whipping up hatred and violence, not just against other citizens but against the system itself. A government of, by and for the people can only work if we trust the systems that sustain it.

Tuesday, November 8th, 2022 feels like it might be a turning point back to civility and trust in our democracy. Voters across the county—Democrats, Republicans and Independents voted in support of politicians who espouse belief in our democratic republic and against those with expressed intent to destroy it. 

I am proud of the USA—the people—who showed up to save our system, especially those who voted for leaders who did not represent their policy positions, in order to save our country. It was the people, not the officials, who put country ahead of party. I am grateful for these acts of patriotism from my fellow citizens. Hopefully, this will be a turning point back to decency, healing and building systems that reflect our collective interests of freedom. 

I do so enjoy getting a full night of sleep! 

Grow a pair of what?

Let’s see, what comes in pairs that humans might need?  Eyes, ears, arms, legs, lungs, breasts, kidneys? No. “Grow a pair” refers to testicles. 

Why would someone need to “grow a pair” of testicles? Obviously, in order to “man up.” Being a man requires courage and strength. Men who are cowards must lack the parts that give them courage and strength so they must grow some.

Lack of courage and strength have been known by other metaphors. Not having “the guts,” “the backbone,” or “the nerve” has largely been replaced by not having “the balls” to do what is right. Hence, the need to “grow a pair.”

At face value, using male genitals as a metaphor for courage and strength is crass, and, perhaps to some,  humorous. It certainly reflects a growing tendency in our culture toward crass and sexualized language to explain everyday human experiences.

On a deeper level, however, much is revealed about the shift in our metaphors about courage and strength. While every human being has guts, nerves and backbone, less than half of the human population has “balls” and lacks the ability to “grow a pair.” Does that mean that these people are not capable of having real strength or displaying real courage? 

On a deeper level still, the phrase “grow a pair” reveals a cultural belief that courage and strength are derived from male genitalia. Like with “penis envy,” the phrase coined by Freud to explain the female experience, our world continues to be defined in terms that place the male experience at the center, as normative, while all other experiences and expressions are understood as varying degrees of deviation, other, inferior, or abnormal. Like all human experiences, strength and courage, are understood to be fundamentally male.

Language matters. Use it carefully and wisely, especially if you are in a position of leadership or authority. Be careful how you depict virtues and characteristics such as courage and strength in your words, actions and communications. 

Be aware of biases and traps within everyday language that may not reflect your values, intentions or beliefs. Check your own assumptions about male-centeredness and superiority, which come at us in so many forms within our our culture. Use of slang and crass metaphors may actually undermine your desire to be sensitive and inclusive of everyone around you.

For more radical ideas about how to create a healthy, inclusive and respectful work environment, see my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com or amazon.com.

The older I get, the more I appreciate history. I have lived long enough to see the patterns in my life that can be traced back to the experiences, decisions and relationships that set them in motion. 

Ironically, what seemed monumental at the time often turned out to be less consequential than I imagined.  What seemed at the time to be rather ordinary so often turned out to be life-changing. 

I agonized in college over my major and settled on Psychology and Religion because they were of personal interest, and wound up with a career in technology! 

By contrast, a short conversation with my brother-in-law’s father at a family gathering set me on a path for a 35-year career working in government that has been challenging and fulfilling.

Working in the same field for so long, I am also able to see the patterns we created decades ago by our decisions and actions, some of which seemed consequential at the time and some of which seemed so insignificant. 

An abandoned project due to personality conflicts seemed at the time a reasonable decision to stop the drama. From a different vantage point, I see today the substantial negative fiscal, operational and service impacts this decision from decades ago has had.  

By contrast, I see that courageous leadership exhibited decades ago to forge partnerships and shared decision-making led to significant transformations in services that has served the people of Minnesota well. The names of these great leaders have long been forgotten but their legacy lives on.

When we are doing an assessment of today’s challenges, in addition to all of the methods we practice to understand and analyze them, it would serve us well to also look at the historical roots of the decisions that led us to this place. Seek out the old-timers who love to tell stories of the past, for in their stories and observations lies wisdom and insight that can only be gained over time. Seek out old artifacts that explain intention and earlier decisions that could shed light on today’s issues. For there, under an old rock, you might find the key to solving the problem and unwinding the dynamics that led to it.

Though we cannot always know, we must at least consider, what the long term impacts of today’s decisions will be in years and decades to come. Make decisions with humility and courage that are grounded in sound principles and long term values rather than merely short-term relief. Seek out the visionaries who can guide you on the journey of time.

Visionaries have an uncanny ability to see in decisions the dynamics that might be set in motion and the unintended consequences they might bring. Visionaries have the ability to discern which actions might be the most significant for the future and which will likely be inconsequential. Visionaries can also look back to see the root causes and essential threads that link today’s challenges to yesterday’s actions. Visionaries are often viewed as nay-sayers and skeptics but can also be an organization’s greatest asset if they are sought out and heard.

For more ideas on how to create wise organizations, check out my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com or amazon.com.

It was June, 1969 when the patrons of the Stonewall Inn resisted arrest for being in a gay bar, protested for several nights for their right to be treated with dignity, and captured the attention of the media. Though not an isolated event, we celebrate Stonewall as the beginning of the modern Gay Rights movement.

During the 70s, we had the Gay Liberation Front and Gay Pride marches and festivals sprung up around the nation and world. Minneapolis Pride was among the first in the nation and this weekend celebrates 50 years!

The gay community was evolving and forming its identity around pride, affirmation and empowerment to replace the shame and humiliation that was so engrained in our culture.  In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association even stopped diagnosing homosexuality as a mental illness. But, even within the movement, all was not inclusive.

“Gay” was viewed as a male term. Lesbians began to assert our own identity to the movement, as did people who identified as Bi-Sexual. Gay liberation became known as LGB. Still, this was not inclusive enough.

People who identify as Transgender asserted their rights so we became the LGBT movement.  Still, this was not inclusive enough, so the broader term, “Queer” was added, which was a bit controversial as this label had been so violently weaponized over the years against our community.  Still, it stuck. We became the LGBTQ community.  Still, this was not inclusive enough. 

People who identify as intersex, pansexual, asexual and in other ways did not feel included so we added the “+”.  It seems today, we are mostly known as the LGBTQ+ community.

We have evolved toward greater inclusion of sexual minorities. But still, we are not inclusive enough.  

Enter the non-binary folks who are not just looking for another label within our movement or stripe on the flag.  They are seeking a whole paradigm shift for sexuality and gender identity. “They” are questioning bedrock assumptions, not only within the LGBTQ+ community, but within modern society itself.  

Questioning the underlying premise of binary gender may cause us to question other polarities as well, like race, politics, geography, and everything that separates and divides us. This is risky and dangerous thinking within a culture that thrives on “us versus them” mentality.

Through their bold ideas, actions and expressions, they may hold the keys for dismantling destructive patterns of oppression and exploitation that undergird our culture and institutions.

I am grateful and proud to be part of a movement that continues to redefine itself to be more inclusive. Our community is full of visionaries, prophets and role models of authenticity who, since Stonewall, and before, have paved the way, often at great personal cost, for more kindness and compassion toward all.

If you have never been to Pride, I encourage you to go or at least spend a few minutes observing the festivities. You will come away feeling more joyful and connected. What shines through the flamboyant costumes, the feather and glitter, the Dykes on Bikes, the rainbow families and the dancing in the streets, is dignity and humanity.

Once again we are shaken by the violence inflicted on the most innocent among us. What is wrong with our country, our society, our culture, our priorities, us—that allows the slaughter of people even children—again and again and again? Why do we call these incidents “mass shootings” rather than “mass murders?” Would a change in language be enough to shake us into solving this problem?

Will we ever find enough common ground to change policies so that schools, malls, grocery stores, concert venues, theaters, salons, night clubs and the communities we live in are safe? Can we summon the collective courage and conviction to relegate the scourge of mass and daily killings to become an ugly stain on our nation’s history rather than a regular occurrence in our present day? Can we move beyond this perpetual state of grieving helplessness and find hope in our ability to fix it?

How can we find solutions if we cannot agree on the causes? There are so many reasons touted for this level of violence in our society, which is unlike any in the world in terms of the scale and frequency. 

Here are a few…

The cause for such carnage is too many guns. There is no logical reason to allow military assault weapons to be easily sold to civilians. Even gun rights advocates and politicians ban firearms at their gatherings while encouraging people to be openly armed in public. More guns do not make us more safe or more free. Instead we are more restricted and more fearful. Perhaps this is true.

The fault for mass killings lies at the feet of entertainment industries. Hollywood spews violence into every form of entertainment. In video games, participants have moved from protectors to perpetrators. This steady diet of violence desensitizes us to cruelty and numbs our empathy. Perhaps this is true.   

The problem is that we don’t have enough mental health services available to all. We have not built the community support infrastructure for people who are violent and dangerous to get the treatment they need. Perhaps this is true.

At the root of extreme violence is often racism and xenophobia. Hatred toward Black, indigenous, people of color, immigrants and LGBTQ+ people has deep and long historical roots that get fed by politicians, commentators and cultural leaders. This emboldens acts of violence by people inclined to act against “those”people. Perhaps this is true.

The real problem is social media. Not only do they fail to regulate the hate speech on their platforms, they use their sophisticated algorithms to push people toward extremism, encouraging them to feed each other’s biases and even commit violent acts, often while live streaming! Dangerous views are amplified and encouraged through technology, fueling hatred and domestic terrorism. Perhaps this true.

Big business, big tech, big media and big money are running the government. They use all of the underlying causes listed above to divide people, promote hatred and extremism, pushing politicians to promote their interests. Perhaps this is true.

Capitalism has overtaken democracy as lobbyists dictate the policies they want in order to prosper. The governed are no longer in charge of the government. Instead, it is owned by the rich and powerful who will do anything to retain both. Constitutional Amendments designed to protect individuals have become shields to protect capitalists. Perhaps this is true.

Perhaps there is truth in all of these. Instead of arguing about which is more true, we should each pick the cause that most resonates and work on changing it. 

If you want to work on stopping gun violence, here is a link to Moms Demand Action and Sandy Hook Promise. For National Gun Violence Awareness Day June 4th, organizers ask supporters to wear orange June 3-5.

If you want to work on reducing violence in entertainment, you may have to start a movement. The topic appears to be less researched today than in previous decades even as violence in media has grown exponentially.  A good place to start may be a fairly recent position paper from the American Academy of Family Physicians.

If you want to get involved in mental health advocacy, the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) is a good place to start. 

Continue to do all you can to reducing racism, homophobia, xenophobia, knowing that marginalized people experience disproportionally more violence than people perceived as mainstream.   

Get involved politically by supporting candidates that reflect your values and beliefs (e.g., ban assault rifles, require universal background checks, hold gun manufacturers accountable, remove dark money from politics, make social media platforms more accountable, etc.), and have the courage to stand in their convictions rather than cling to their power. It will take all of us to create the society we want for our children and generations to come.    

We must all do something to turn our heartache, our hopeless grief and our rage into action. We can do better. We must do better.