Denise Moreland

I was at a coffee shop recently and overheard what appeared to be a staff meeting between a young woman and “her” employees.  I am not sure what business the group was in or what the content of their discussion was but what was crystal clear by her words and attitude was who was the boss.

The supervisor of this group went through a list of corporate updates and provided feedback on the team’s shortcomings.  She reminded employees about particular policies, being clear about her expectations in meeting them.

During the meeting, the boss was the only one who spoke.  The team members were never asked for their ideas or opinions, and none of them asked any questions. The supervisor’s tone throughout the meeting was patronizing.  She seemed to relish in her power and was quite confortable in being the center of attention.

When the group was getting ready to leave, I looked over at the table where the team had been meeting.  The boss thanked the employees for attending and the team members quietly put on their coats and left without any chit-chat, laughing or camaraderie.  I wondered how different the energy would have been if the boss had been less condescending and more curious about what the employees thought about the corporate updates, the policies or her feedback on their performance.

Patronizing bosses sap the energy out of groups and disengage employees.  To engage people, supervisors need to facilitate conversations, engaging the ideas and imaginations of the folks they supervise.  Sometimes, coffee is not enough to raise the energy level!  You also need to ask question, listen and invite participation.

October 16th was Boss’s Day, the day designated for employees to express appreciation to their bosses.  Did you buy a card, flowers or donuts to express your gratitude to your boss?  If you are a supervisor, did you receive acknowledgements of appreciation?

Where I work, many days are celebrated, some official and some made up to bring a sense of light-hearted fun to the workplace.  Fortunately, Boss’s Day is not one of the many days observed.  Not acknowledging boss’s day avoids the inevitable awkwardness that accompanies the day.

Relationships between bosses and their “subordinates” are complex and often strained.  Throwing in an expected day of appreciation can heighten stress for both parties.  If your boss makes your life miserable on a daily basis, you probably don’t want to honor her/him, though you may feel it is expected.  If you are a supervisor who gets a card or gift from employees, you have to wonder if it was sincere or obligatory.  From either side, the day has the potential to sugar-coat the power inequities and emotions that accompany them.

Imagine a workplace where people can express gratitude up, down and across the organization when they want to, without a calendared obligation to do so.  Read more about how to create the workplace you want in my book, Management Culture, available at mgmtculture.com or though Amazon.

The conversation goes like this:

“How do you like being a supervisor (or manager)?” I ask.

“Not so much. I miss doing the ‘real work’ of getting something done,” S/he responds.

“Why are you doing work that you don’t like?” I inquire.

“I took the leadership job because I care about the team. I was afraid if I didn’t take the job, we’d end up with someone far worse. I didn’t want to risk it for the team or for me. We could do a lot worse than having me as the boss.”

What a sad commentary on the role of supervisors and managers–that people would take jobs they don’t want to avoid getting horrible bosses. The scenario reveals the power bosses have to make employee’s lives miserable, and the fear among employees of getting a bad one. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon.

We need to challenge the culture of management that tolerates, even encourages, behaviors that lead employees to fear their bosses. Imagine, instead, a workplace where managers are respected and appreciated because they respect and appreciate employees.

Learn more about how to create a positive work culture in my book, Management Culture, available at mgmtculture.com.

Complaining, cynicism, back-stabbing and rumor mills are common in many work environments.  To counter such negativity, managers often institute new positivity rules.  Problems become “opportunities,” issues are reframed as “challenges” and conflicts are just “different perspectives.”  Along with the change in language, management sometimes insists that no one bring up a problem without also brining forward solutions.

All this is positively good. Seeing the opportunities and diverse perspectives in situations can be a first step toward resolution.  Too much positivity, however, can cause its own set of “opportunities.” Insisting that people always put on a happy face can have the intended effect of hiding the truth.  Sometimes problems really are problems without clear opportunities. Issues have more facets than their “challenge” aspects, and often conflicts have deeper dynamics that are not easily apparent through a “perspectives” lens.  Some problems are thorny and have no clear solutions that can be identified by the person with the problem.

When managers insist on positivity in all situations, they may hamper growth and problem-solving that requires looking closely at the negative roots and consequences.  A friend recently told me she has been branded as a nay-sayer in her overly positive work environment because she cannot, in good conscience, sugar-coat the real problems, issues and conflicts she encounters at work. To her managers, her honest behavior borders on insubordination for not complying with their directives to be positive. “A toxic environment of positivity” is how she describes her job.

How much better my friend’s workplace would be if people at all levels were allowed to tell the truth in a respectful and constructive way. Rather than create positivity rules, the best way to counter complaining, gossiping and backstabbing is to create a work environment that truly is positive and engaging, where people at all levels can talk openly about the problems and opportunities, issues and challenges, conflicts and different perspectives, and work collaboratively to resolve them.

Learn more about how to create and honest and collaborative work environment in my book, Management Culture, at mgmtculture.com.

Speaking truth to power is so against the culture of hierarchy that we have made it a personal virtue–at least in theory.

In reality, speaking truth to power is seldom seen as a virtue. Most of the time, the less powerful are expected to do what they are told, follow the rules and keep their mouths shut. Those among us who dare to speak truth to power are considered insubordinate and disciplined, or punished, for their boldness.

In our culture, we hold the courage to speak truth as a virtue, and at the same time have little tolerance for it in practice. To be celebrated as a courageous truth-speaker, rather than an insubordinate trouble-maker, several conditions must exist.

First, you must be no more than one rung lower than the person you are challenging.  A deputy or assistant to the chief is generally given more latitude in speaking truth than those several tiers down the org chart. Even equipped with the best arguments and insights, front line employees are prohibited from telling the truth to their leaders. Theoretically, anyone can share their perspectives with their bosses, which is where truth-telling usually stops.

Second, you can only speak truth prior to a decision being made. Once the power authority has decided, no one is supposed to question it, even when assumptions have proven false or circumstances have vastly changed the context. In spite of the best attempts of project managers to respond to changes, projects in motion are rarely questioned or terminated. Even project managers and sponsors are discouraged from speaking truth.

Third, to be virtuous in speaking truth to power, you must win. In the moment of challenge, the person at the top is automatically considered right, and the challenger is considered to be the fool.  Only if the fool wins will her/his courage be celebrated.

Absent these three conditions, speaking truth to power is risky and usually ends badly for the challenger.

It does not have to be so! Imagine a workplace where everyone is expected to tell the truth all the time. Such a workplace is possible if we have the courage to question and eliminate ineffective cultural rules that keep us all locked in silence.

Please tell me about your experiences and observations with speaking truth to power in the comments section below.  You don’t need to share your real name.

For more information about truth-telling and crazy rules of the workplace, see my book Management Culture at mgmtculture.com.

Have you known excellent employees who have no interest whatsoever in becoming supervisors? They are star performers, natural leaders, respected and admired by co-workers and management alike. Everyone knows that they would be outstanding managers, but they abhor the idea. Why is it that these excellent employees are reluctant to be promoted into into leadership positions?

I have talked to several of them, and have come to understand and respect their reasons. Excellent employees are often reluctant to promote into leadership positions because they are not comfortable with the rules and expectations that would be placed upon them if they did.

Too often, supervisors are expected to know more (or pretend we do) than the people we manage.  We are expected to be smarter, wiser, and make the best decisions.  We are required to impose directives that don’t make sense.  We are not supposed to admit when we are wrong, when we don’t know, or when we have doubts.  Bosses are pressured to treat employees as property–labor, resources, commodities and capital–parts to be manipulated and engineered into well-oiled organizational machines.

Excellent employees, with good sense and integrity, cannot imagine pretending that they know when they don’t, or acting like they are smarter than the people they manage, because they know it’s not true.  They could never treat employees like they have been treated by the bosses they have known.

To recruit excellent employees into leadership positions, we need to redefine the role of “the boss” into one that does not assume superiority over, or ownership of, employees.  We need to challenge existing management culture, and create new rules and expectations about what it means to supervise and manage people.  See ideas about how to do this in my book, Management Culture (mgmtculture.com).  Also, connect with me on Linkedin, Twitter and Facebook.  Join the conversation!

Have you ever known someone who was a decent human being as a co-worker, then became not-so-pleasant as a boss? Why does that happen? Was there an evil person lurking inside that became unleashed with a promotion? Does power corrupt even the nicest people? I don’t think so.

People don’t fundamentally change when they become bosses, though often their behavior does. Good people become bad bosses when they behave in ways they think a boss is supposed to behave.

Many of the beliefs people hold about what it means to be the “boss” are flawed, outdated and irrelevant in today’s complex organizations. The culture of management promotes unspoken rules that bosses are supposed to command and control the work and the people who do it. We are expected to know every detail and how each piece fits with management’s aggressive goals and strategic directions. We are accountable to meet performance standards to develop well-oiled organizational machines with little variability. We are supposed to be decisive and confident, never flinching when we have doubts. Never are we allowed to show our fears or vulnerability. When employees step out of line in questioning us, we are expected to show them who’s boss.

We fear that failing in any of these unwritten requirements will make us look weak to employees and ineffective to our bosses. Trying to meet them all may cause us to behave in ways that are not aligned with our personal preferences or values. We believe we must fill the role as it has been defined for us.

In my book, Management Culture: Innovative & Bold Strategies to Engage Employees, I question management culture–the rules, expectations and language that pressure good people to behave badly toward employees. I offer a new vision for healthy relationships between managers and employees, where both are encouraged to be fully human and fully engaged.

If you have any stories about good people you have known who became bad bosses, please post them (using alias names). If you are a supervisor or manager and know the cultural pressure I am talking about to be perfect, please share your perspective. Let’s start a conversation about how we can make sure good people become the excellent leaders they are meant to be!

Management Culture: Innovative & Bold Strategies to Engage Employees is now available for purchase at mgmtculture.com.

In the book,  I provide examples of common situations that disempower employees, analyze the underlying dynamics that contribute to the disengagement, and strategies to improve the work culture. I retell the same stories from a new perspective.

Please write and tell me about work situations that you find disengaging and your ideas to turn it around. Imagine looking forward to going to work because it is so engaging and darn fun!

This is my new blog! Here I will share stories, examples and insights about how to make the workplace more humane and engaging. I will draw on the ideas presented in my new book, Management Culture: Innovative & Bold Strategies to Engage Employees. 

I believe many people dread Mondays and live for the weekends because work is an emotional drain. Work should be energizing. It should be a place to contribute ideas, collaborate with coworkers and be productive. Most people want to do good work that matters to the world, with people they respect. Why is this experience so rare?

Too often, it is because traditional management culture reinforces top-down control, where employees are treated as merely a means to an end. Reframing the role of “boss” to one who is a facilitator rather than a dictator is the answer to fixing what is broken at work. Stay tuned for more information on how we can all help create the workplaces we long to have.