I was at a coffee shop recently and overheard what appeared to be a staff meeting between a young woman and “her” employees.  I am not sure what business the group was in or what the content of their discussion was but what was crystal clear by her words and attitude was who was the boss.

The supervisor of this group went through a list of corporate updates and provided feedback on the team’s shortcomings.  She reminded employees about particular policies, being clear about her expectations in meeting them.

During the meeting, the boss was the only one who spoke.  The team members were never asked for their ideas or opinions, and none of them asked any questions. The supervisor’s tone throughout the meeting was patronizing.  She seemed to relish in her power and was quite confortable in being the center of attention.

When the group was getting ready to leave, I looked over at the table where the team had been meeting.  The boss thanked the employees for attending and the team members quietly put on their coats and left without any chit-chat, laughing or camaraderie.  I wondered how different the energy would have been if the boss had been less condescending and more curious about what the employees thought about the corporate updates, the policies or her feedback on their performance.

Patronizing bosses sap the energy out of groups and disengage employees.  To engage people, supervisors need to facilitate conversations, engaging the ideas and imaginations of the folks they supervise.  Sometimes, coffee is not enough to raise the energy level!  You also need to ask question, listen and invite participation.